HELP!!
Posted March 26th, 2008 by Crash
Wow do we ever need your help on this email we received!
Brad's brother is tying the knot and he was asked to be the best man, the only thing is he can't stand his finance!
Have a gander at Brad's email below.
Crash, My brother is getting married to this woman who I absolutely CANNOT stand. In the two years that they've dated, she's very seldom ever been nice to me. Not only that, but she completely takes up all of my brother's time . . . and my family never even gets to see him anymore.
Needless to say, I don't agree with the two of them getting married. But unfortunately, my brother has asked me to be his best man. I really don't know if I can be a part of something that I don't agree with. But he is my brother, and I sort of feel obligated to be his best man.
Would it be wrong of me to say no to being my brother's best man? Since we're family, does it mean I HAVE to do it? Would it be OK if I went to the wedding . . . but wasn't IN it?
Brad, 30
What should Brad do?
I think that you need to be
I think that you need to be the best man. Come on..... it is your brother and as family, we need to respect and support each others desicions. If your brother is happy in the relationships, why wouldn't you support his happiness. If you haven't spoken to him about this issue.... not showing up at his wedding would be rude, and he would most likely wonder what he did to offend you. I say go, get drunk and have fun in supporting your brothers happiness. ;-)
Coward
He's a coward if he doesn't tell his brother how he feels. It would be a terrible betrayal not to be honest with his brother. How can his brother trust him after that. I disagree with others who say he has to stand up and support his brother ---that is only if he agrees with what his brother is doing.
At your wedding you want to be surrounded by people who support you totally having someone who is acting dishonestly would hurt you deeply.
A p.s.
p.s. to the last comment below, lol. as long as he's happy right? be happy for his happiness and jus wish em the best in life. i don't think he'd wana marry her if he was miserable huh??? well laters for real this time.....Crash I like your pic...
JUS DO IT :)
I think he should just stand for his bro! Do it for him, and he obviously wants Brad to be part of his special day...and who knows?? Maybe he may get along with the bride for once! This is only a one time thing, one day, so why not? What counts is if he's standing for is brother which I know would mean everything to him (his brother). The bride...jus ignore her (HAHA), I'm kidding. But whatever goes, goes right? My sister is engaged to a man that I CANNOT STAND!!! But I would still be there for her if she asked me too, I love her that much! So Suck It Up Buttercup!
Clearly he shouldn't
Clearly he shouldn't be the best man. It's difficult but it's the honest thing to do. He is not standing up for the Groom if he's doing it against his feelings, that's very dishonest. Standing up for someone means you support them, approve of what they are doing. Time to have a heart to heart talk, much better than going along with it all and his brother finding out the truth after. He loves his brother and that's why he is hesitating, it's easier just to say that you will do it and not worry about it, the difficult thing is to do what you think is right for both you and your brother.
don't you stand up for your brother?
You might not agree with his decision... but if he is happy, if he chose to marry her - don't you trust that he is happy and made a good decision for himself?
This isn't about you. It is not like YOU have to marry her.
He is asking you to stand up for HIM (not necessarily the wife to be), and i think if you love him, you should stand up for him.
Look into the traditional reasons for having a wedding party and the role of the best man - and you will soon see there is not reason to feel apprehension!
Just tell him. t would be
Just tell him. t would be better if you told him now, than when they are married and so happy. it would help a lot.
A little late to bring it up?...
Wouldn't you say that, now that the wedding is all set in place, it is a little late to be bringing this type of issue up? I think Mr. Brad has missed the boat on this one and is pretty much now faced with having to suck it up and be there for his brother. I'm sure Brad must have realized sometime earlier in the past two years that maybe his brother's girl wasn't so great? I think that was the time to talk with his brother about it. I feel similarly about my brother-in-law, but would never talk down about him to my sister because they are married and I now feel obliged to look for the good, rather than the bad, in him.
Honesty...
A virtue many fear to have. This guy should fess up how he feels and not be apart of the wedding he disapproves of and faces possible estrangement from his brother. It sucks but it is honest. You can not make up somebody else's mind by you can have control what you do.
There are tactful ways to do fess up, ways that would be better then getting loaded on the wedding day and making and nasty inappropriate drunken speaches toasting the bride and groom, and that is being straigh forward and honest to beging with.
Good luck
Clearly
Clearly he should still be the best man.. being the best man is standing up for the Groom, not the bride. Being the best man means being there for the groom in good times and bad, it means that you're their for them when they need you most. If he's happy to marry this woman, it's not the brother's decision. All the brother can do is be there for his brother and support his decision. It would be very rude to not be the best man and still want to show up at the wedding. Being at the wedding is still supporting the marriage...... don't be a coward.
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