Viewer Mail - WE NEED YOUR HELP
Posted September 4th, 2008 by Crash
It's time again for another Viewer Mail, and "K" needs your help. Give us a call in the studio 963-9999 or post your comments below...
Dear Crash and Mars,
I thought I would pass my dilemma on to you for some advice, and I’m hoping that maybe Mars can relate.
I’m a 38 year old woman who has been happily married without children now for 11 years. When my husband and I got married we were both on the same page when it came to the marriage, our careers and children. We both decided that having kids was not something we both wanted and agreed to spend our time together as a adult couple. We have since done some amazing things together, we have traveled the world, started up our own company, built our dream home and been able to experience and do things that may not have been possible if children were involved in our lives.
My dilemma is this: my husband recently dropped a bombshell on me. He now wants children. I am totally confused by this change of heart, and worried. First I am 38 years old and I am worried about the complications of being an older woman and getting pregnant. And to top it off, when I expressed my concerns to my husband he became very agitated and stormed off.
What do I make of this? Why do I feel betrayed? I’m worried he’ll leave me for a younger woman.
Help.
K.
Thoughts?
what about adoption...there
what about adoption...there are a lot of unwanted babies and childrem in this world...
your choice
Well I can't really relate to the situation your in but despite that my only thoughts are that YOU are the woman who has to carry that child for 9 months and that does not mean you are not going to absolutely love it because you might very well, however being married 11 years is a long time and obviously your husband loves you unconditionally, if you talk it out maybe get some medical opinions and if there seems to be a high risk with you being pregnant then its your choice and your husband should love you no matter what you decide if not there’s the door don’t let it hit him on the way out!
Change of Heart re children
I can completely understand what you are going throuhg, been there myslef...
We had an agreement and then it came up later as an ultimatum...I later figured out that it was just his manipulative way of getting out of the relationship without having to be the bad guy...
Sorry, no advice except try to talk to him about it...if he is uncompromising than the above is likely his intent...
"Geriatric Pregnancies"
I understand your concern about having an agreement that is no longer an agreement, however, let me help with the physiological concerns you may have. I was 40 and 43 when I had my children. They are both healthy and neither pregnancy was complicated or troublesome. Sure I was a little more tired (and still am with 2 young ones) that if I were 20 something, but you don't have to assume that your pregnancy will be disasterous simply due to age....Good luck to you if you choose to go that route.
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