Viewer Mail!
Posted May 14th, 2008 by Mars
Another viewer mail who needs our help, this time, a cheating fiance...
Sarah is definitely stuck between a rock and a hard place, have a read...
"Hi Crash and Mars,
I'm in a bad dilemma. One of my best girl friends is getting married in a couple weeks so we decided to go all out for her bachelorette party. We (all the girlfriends 6 of us) went to Las Vegas and did all the usual bachelorette party stuff. We went to some clubs, partied, met some guys, hung out at the casinos and poolsids. Even though we're almost all 30, for most of us this was our first time in Sin City, so I will admit that some of us went a little wild meeting some single guys, but my friend who is getting married went a little over board.
She had way too much to drink and hooked up with some random guy she met at one of the clubs we went to. I'm not one hundred percent sure if she slept with him, but i think she did. She's saying they didn't go all the way and says that it's just a one-time mistake, and she'd never do it again.
But even so, I feel really bad for her fiancé. I've known him for years, and he's a great guy who loves her very much.
Should I tell my friend's fiancé that she cheated on him? Has anyone else had to live with a secret from bachelor or bachelorette parties?
Sarah"
What would you do? Discuss. ;)
Tell him....
You won't be popular but he has to know if herpes (Or worse) is on the horizon! Be honest, tell him you don't know if anything happened. But before you tell him, if you are friends with both, tell her how you feel and give her a deadline to tell him. If she doesn't make the deadline, step up. If she lets her defences down in Vegas, what's the difference between there and next week at the hometown bar. I had two friends (married to each other) and one confided in my husband that he was having an affair. My husband and I came up with the above solution. The cheater was given a deadline to tell her, well the chicken sh*t didn't tell her so we sat down and told her what he told us. It was the right thing to do if they are your friends. The cheater is no longer our friend, but to be honest, no friend of mine would lack the values to be true to their vows. She was upset, but was so grateful to know. That's what true friends do. VV
So sick of hearing it!!!
I am SOO SICK of people using the saying "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas". I am also sick of people saying that it was their last night going out single. These are just two IDIOTIC condoning comments for people to behave immorally. If it was my friend, I know that I certainly wouldn't have any respect for her. If she has any conscience, she will discuss it with her fiance. Also, whether she actually had sex or not is not so much the issue, as that she fooled around with somebody shortly before marrying a man she said she loved. She should also look at her drinking habits if she is getting that boozed up that she isn't certain of her actions. Tell her you think she should talk to him. Your friendship will never be the same!!
I agree...
about the double standard totally
Double Standard....
I have a feeling that it was the guy who went there and cheated that all these answers would be different and all you ladies out there would be saying tell and get rid of him...
Not your place to tell him
I don't think it's your place to tell your friend's fiance about the wild night in LV, it's her's. She made the mistake and she's going to have to deal with it, since she's marrying him. Secrets like that will come out eventually and normally cause more damage to feelings and trust after being hidden. Your friend may be worried if she tells her fiance, he'll get angry or even call off the wedding (worst circumstance), but she should face up to the consequences of her actions. She would probably want to know if her fiance hooked up with some chick at his stag, don't you think?
time limit
Give the friend a time limit so she can tell him herself, and if she doesn't tell by then, then tell him yourself.
keep you lips sealed!!
you know that you might feel guilty knowing but is it really worth loosing your friend over. it was her mistake and she has to deal with it. let her get up the nerves to tell him.. if she really loved him she would tell him and he would understand.
Not your problem!!
You may have known the fiance for years, but if you tell him that she cheated on him in Vegas, he might blame you for it (somehow). Just be assured that the guilt you feel about not telling, is 100 times worse for the girl that cheated!! She has to lay beside this man for the rest of her life knowing that she cheated on him!! Her guilt is going to kill her, she will eventually break and tell him herself.
Keep your lips sealed.
All i have to say is 1. what
All i have to say is
1. what happens in vegas stays in vegas
2. it was her last night of ever being single.
I think you shouldnt tell him if she says nothing really happen you should beleive her....if anything happen eventually before the wedding it will eat her away and she will tell him!
It depends...
Well, it depends. I mean if he got her regnant than there could be a dilemna. The day of their wedding arises and she's showing some serious baby bump, peeing a lot and her hrmones are insane. The Hubs migt suspect somthing happened up there in Sin city. But if she isn't pregnant and it WAS a one time thing. I mean...What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas right?
Don't tell!
I don't think you should tell him. It was clearly a case of circumstances. This is her guilt to deal with. People make mistakes (especially with alcohol involved). Give her the benefit of the doubt when she says she'll never do it again.
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